How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
