I can tuck mytits in my pants
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Randomize
