Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Randomize
