Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
