that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
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