ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Randomize
