Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
It's like God shit irony all over that family
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
wow bdsm is so cute
Randomize
