just survived the first fart of the relationship.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize
