a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
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