Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
