I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
