Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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