I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
