Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
