Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
