This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
