Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
