i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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