it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
