You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
