I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
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