Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
All I want is dick and wine.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
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