please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
