some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Randomize
