glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
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