RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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