This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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