Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize