life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize