this beer tastes like vomit already
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Randomize
