i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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