He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Randomize
