I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
