ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
