The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
