This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
3 2 1 whiskey
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
