I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
