$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
