I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
