I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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