two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
