Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Randomize
