hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
