Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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