Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
