Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
