I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
