At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
