I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
