More tranny stories later!
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
