i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
