I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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