I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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