i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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