Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
The beer is more important than you right now.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
